Carrie Fisher’s daughter, actress Billie Lourd, took to Instagram to honor her late mother on what would have been her 69th birthday. In a moving and unfiltered message, Lourd reflected on the nine birthdays she’s spent without Fisher, opening up about the complicated emotions of grief, motherhood, and memory.
Her post, filled with humor, honesty, and heartbreak, offered fans a glimpse into how she continues to celebrate the “Star Wars” icon’s legacy while navigating the lasting impact of her loss.
Grief as a “Weird Soup”: Lourd’s Honest Take on Loss
Billie Lourd shared a deeply personal reflection on Instagram, writing, “My mom would’ve been 69 years old today. Which still feels shockingly young because this is the 9th birthday of hers I’ve ‘celebrated’ without her.” She admitted the surreal weight of time, noting, “It feels like she has been dead so long that she should be 100 at this point? It feels more okay for a 100-year-old person to be dead? But not a 69-year-old.”
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Opening up about her children, Lourd described a tender conversation with her son: “The other night my son asked me how she died — I told him that she didn’t take care of her body — telling him the truth without telling him the whole truth. ‘Oh but I take care of my body!’ Yes I replied, ‘Yes you do! And I do too and daddy does too!’” She reflected on how different life feels now, adding, “Death isn’t looming at our doorsteps the way it always was for her. That’s a conversation for later years.”
She didn’t shy away from expressing complicated emotions, writing, “It’s weird being mad at a dead person because you don’t really have anywhere to put the emotion. But it’s still there and I’ve had to learn to allow myself to feel all the things — mad at her for not getting sober but also sad for her that she wasn’t able to get sober but also happy that she existed at all.” Despite the mix of feelings, she emphasized the importance of celebrating the joyful moments: “I also do want her birthday to have some happy in it. Especially for my kids. She was a brilliant magical human and I want them to know that.”
Lourd also shared the small rituals that help her honor her mother’s memory: “I’ll tell my kids funny stories about her, watch one of her movies, eat one of her favorite foods, have a Coke with a ton of ice.” She described grief as a “weird soup of feelings” and reflected on its unexpected lessons: “It’s not always the tastiest, but it might make you a stronger, healthier human? Happy birthday momby. I miss you and love you more than you could ever know.”
